“Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5
I am pro-life…there has never been a moment in my mind that the thought to kill someone unwanted was ok…I never knew that there was an idea that some lives are worth less than others…As I have grown older, I have obviously learned that society does not think that all life is created equal…with that I will go onto explain how I feel about life in our family…
When Alex and I were first married we had “planned” to wait a few years to start having children…we wanted to be more settled financially…well the July after our second anniversary we found out that God had an anniversary gift for us…when asked if he was “planned” we said yes, by God…
“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” ~ Psalm 139:16…
Once we had Jacob I really wanted to have more siblings for him sooner…I stopped using any form of birth control when Jacob was about 2 years old…I really believe that the birth control messed up my body and hung around for years…I later learned that birth control does not prevent pregnancy, but creates an abortive environment in the womb…I also dabbled in Natural Family Planning, more to know when I was ovulating…but failed at that too…it was then that I realized I just needed to fully trust God…honestly thinking we would only have one child…
It wasn’t until after our 7th anniversary that God gave us the news that he planned a second child for us…over those 5 years there were bumps in the road…as I posted before, Jacob fell from a second floor window…Alex and I also hit some bumpy roads in our marriage…but we made it out and chose each other and God blessed us…
Near the end of my pregnancy with Patrick, my army mid-wife tried real hard to convince me to get on a form of birth control…I flat out told her no…I said look at the age difference between these two, and well if I were to get pregnant, I would be ecstatic…plus by that point I sincerely felt it is God’s job to decide the size of our family…and how could I, after begging for years for another child, say, “Ok God, thanks for the second one, we are done now, so I am going to make it harder for your gift to live inside me to grow…”
Much to our surprise God had number 3 planned to join us much sooner…Between Jacob’s 7th and Patrick’s 1st birthdays we found out we were expecting baby number 3…we were also actually farther along than we had been with the other two when we found out…After Robert was born my Dr had no problems with me not using birth control, she said she would gladly see us again…turns out she went to our church and was also Catholic…plus well they want “customers”…
Our 4th son took a little longer…a heavy nurser and my husband being deployed added to the amount of months in between…but when Alex told me he was heading back to the states for a tdy and the boys and I were able to meet him, I told him I would be “ripe”…this is pretty normal to happen, a lot of R and R babies and reunion babies happen…it is a psychological thing and well God’s timing…I also like to tell people that Alex brought home these stuffed camels for the boys and well “nothing” for me…well, I got mine 9 months later…and he is the best deployment gift a girl can get…
After Mikey started slowing down on nursing, I was sure I would get pregnant quickly…both he and Robert were conceived when I was only nursing once a day…well it seemed to take forever…it took 15 months…much longer than I had “planned”…but this past week we found out God does have plans for at least one more child for us…
Most people I have told have been happy and excited for us…but some have been apprehensive…which hurts for well Alex and I, but mostly for the baby…just because the baby is going to be number 5, doesn’t mean it will be worth less or any less loved…what if this baby had been born back in 2002 and Jacob wasn’t here yet…what if Alex and I had decided 4 was enough…we would have missed out on Jacob and his love…I cannot imagine, being without the 4 wonderful gifts we have now or this little one growing inside me…the 5th or 10th child is worth no less than the 1st, just because they were born later in the family line…
Another thing we run into is that we have been asked since Patrick, is if we were going to try for a girl…for one we have long learned we don’t try for anything…God chooses when we are having another child…but are my boys worth less because they weren’t a girl…if we have another boy is he a mistake because he wasn’t that girl that we strive for…or so society thinks we should…
To be honest there would be blessings to either…a girl, well, we don’t have one, I do have a girly side, I do want a tea party nursery, and frilly dresses…but with a boy, we got that one down pat, and we won’t really need to buy ANYTHING…but really either reason for either one is not a good enough reason to decide one sex is better than the other…we would be happy with either…in all reality we just want a healthy baby…but even if the baby isn’t “perfect” in society’s eyes…this baby and any others if God plans them will be a perfect gift from Him…
“I give you thanks that I am fearfully, wonderfully made; wonderful are your works.” ~Psalm 139:14
So with that said…our “plan” for our family, is to let God plan our family…will it always be easy…no…will we want to take control…yes…do I always trust God…in this area, I can say yes, I may ask why not this month (because I do want more)…but I know He has a reason…He knows why, and knows way better than we ever will…I do question God in a lot of areas of my life…but for some reason, this is one area that I have been able to easily give over complete control and I thank Him for every single gift He has blessed us with and may bless us with in the future…
I understand that everyone feels led differently by God…if you truly feel that is the way God is leading you, good for you…if not, listen to your heart…He can be found there…Please be open to life…it is the greatest gift that God can bless you with…
“Therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live…” ~ Deuteronomy 30:19
Just Another Day In Air Force Paradise 
YEA! Congratulations. When I was asked, after 4 boys, if we were trying for a girl, my response was “A girl would be nice, but a boy would be convenient!” We never found out “what” we were having until the moment of birth, either. I’m excited for you!
We weren’t going to find out with Jacob…but gave in pretty quick…so now the only reason we wouldn’t find out is if the ultra sound tech just can’t see clearly…which has not been an issue so far 😉